Yesterday, whilst enjoying a dreamy half hour in the most delicious bookshop in a Cotswold town, I came across of book entitled
The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert (...wow, heavy stuff, I hear you say).
But on the back sleeve I read these words...'Develop your feelings of Compassion and increase your sense of well-being'. Gilbert says that our brains are actually hardwired to respond to kindness and compassion but that our society has encouraged us to compete with each other so much that we have begun to see compassion as weakness; we've stopped training ourselves in compassion. To my amazement I read that 'developing kindness and compassion for ourselves and others builds our confidence, helps us create meaningful, caring relationships and promotes physical and mental health...it even builds resilience and keeps us from depression and anxiety'.
This morning I've been mulling on what Compassion means,... like, in plain english. How would you describe Compassion in a sentence? What does it mean to be a compassionate person? I thought immediately of the bible story about the Good Samaritan. How the chap in the story actually allowed himself to be shocked by what he saw lying by the side of the road that day, and how he'd actually stopped his horse, got his hands bloody, manhandled the unpleasant-looking, mugged stranger onto his mode of transport, and gone out of his way to get him to A&E. And I thought to myself, what was the hardest bit of all for Samaritan-man? What do you think? Was it that he didn't have latex gloves to hand, or that he'd miss his tennis match by not going straight home...or was it that he was basically scared shitless that he'd put himself in danger or would get too emotionally involved?
I don't have the answer and maybe I should hold fire trying to sound wise 'til I've read the book. But hey, here's my thoughts for what they are worth. I think Compassion, in essence, is about 'standing with' another person and allowing their hardship, pain and struggle to impact you; allowing yourself to feel their helplessness and fear even though you can't be the fixer. Standing with them, being there, being alongside them and walking awhile with them while you search your heart to see if you can do something for this fellow human being. And in standing with them you are telling them the most important thing of all, 'You are not alone'.
I wondered where we learn to become compassionate (how about putting it on the school curriculum!?), and how do we keep ourselves in the practice of doing it, because in essence that's what it's all about. WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO PRACTICE COMPASSION, SO IT CAN STICK and becomes a part of who we are, otherwise we will not train our brains to seek out ways to actively grow a Compassionate mind; literally laying down compassionate neural pathways, according to PG.
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| The Jambo Toto children, standing on the new plot of rented land, where their little classrooms will be built. |
So, enough of all that - what's this blog all about? Just this....my heart was filled with Compassion when I saw the children and their mum's confined to almost a life sentence of oppression and misery in the stone Quarry on the outskirts of Nairobi. It was hard to witness the grim reality of their lives; it hurt.
I see compassion as the only way we can bring change to the lives of the hundreds who work there; compassion that brings about action. I could not walk by... and yet I feel very alone in this quest to raise £3,500 to help Charles and Rose build a small 3 class-roomed building, for the children and the mothers.
So we have organised a Fundraising evening on the 5th March, out in a sweet village near Banbury, organised by dear friend Jane Meyler. For many of you it's not going to be ideal to come .... in fact no date or time will be ideal for any of us. The call to compassion never comes at a convenient time, there will ALWAYS be voices calling to us. Calling us to 'get home', 'play tennis', 'stay warm' and 'leave it to another passer by'.
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| The tin shack where they have nursery care from Rose. |
But, dear friends, I feel sure if you had been there, it would be you writing this letter and urging your friend and family to practice compassion, get involved, feel the pain and let the act of being a part of this project grow you in ways you never imagined.
.....So, come and join us, if you can.
Stand with us, so we can stand with Charles&Rose at Jambo Toto, so they can stand with the mothers of the quarry and they can have a chance to offer their children a life without shame.
Our fundraising Evening event:
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| Rose&Charles care for over 100 children from the quarry. |
Wednesday 5th March, 6.30-8.30
@ Sibford Village Hall
Sibford Gower
Nr Banbury
OX15 5RW
or
Go to "Donate" at www.emerging-leaders.net Quote "Quarry project"
- JB
